disappearing

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much.
I'm going to post more, I promise.
I don't want to disappear. It's usually what I do, unfortunately.
I'm good at it. Running.
Running from everything.
I'm not supposed to run from it here.

we all had a thing or two to learn

at the top of the screen there's the little toolbar with links
I'm always drawn to the one that says Report Abuse.
I find it ironic on a blog like mine
a blog about what happens when you don't
you should always, always report abuse
please
I learned that too late.

I never forgot it, confusing as it was

it will all be okay in the morning

I spend every single day pretending I am okay. Pretending no one hurt me. I get through the day, and then the night happens... nights are awful, fear and shame and terror. But when I wake up, it has to be okay. It always has to be okay in the morning.

I haven't blogged in a very long time... I've found I've really missed it. Some of you may remember me, despite all the differences here. Even though I still feel much more comfortable just journaling, I'm giving this a shot again. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. Maybe I will disappear again. But it's still what it always was-- an attempt at breaking the silence. Because I will not be silenced by his violence.

I was never a pretty girl. Sometimes I wonder why he chose me.